Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Laying Mash

I'm not quite sure how I ended up thinking of this particular analogy, but thought I'd spit it out and be done with it.
I've never had cause to raise chickens, but I do recall spending a considerable amount of time as a young lad with my old man feeding the hens, gatherings eggs and let's not forget the joy of shovelling out the hen house.

Oh, and there's the smell.

That's a keeper.

See, there has been some mention over the last couple weeks of doctor's appointments and that kind of thing, so I figured I'd pass along this little snippit.
If you saw me on the bike, you'd realise that when the doctor suggested that I had "spastic colon", you'd know why I thought, "buddy, you have no idea".
Anyway, that's what we figure. Last week's visit to the hospital gave me pretty much the "all clear".

Turns out I'll live.

Well, kinda stuck with that whole "spastic" thing, but it's more of an annoyance than a killer.

So fine.

Well, just to make things move along more smoothly, so to speak, the good ole doc figures he'll give me a prescription for some "stuff". Now, in most drug stores in North America and certainly in Canada, you can simply buy this "stuff " off the shelf.

Here we need a prescription.

Again. Fine.

Oh, and by the way, if it were as nice and tasty as the "stuff" in the link, I probably wouldn't mind too much, but this "stuff" comes in little packets, and doesn't have much going on flavour wise.

So here's the thing:

Go out to the hen house (or chicken coop, if you prefer) and bring back about a quarter cup of laying mash, put it in a glass, fill it with water, stir like there's no tomorrow and drink it*.

Try not to gag.

Both the doctor (in English) and later the nice lady in the pharmacy (in Dutch)told me that a second glass of water is required right after the first.

Well, no sh*t!

You need the second glass of water to get rid of all the "stuff" that's stuck in your teeth and hanging off the back of your throat.


I think I might just go with some alfalfa and call it a day.

*you're welcome to substitute sawdust at your discretion.

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Well, I've been getting too many spam comments showing up. Just a drag, so we'll go another route and hope that helps. So, we won't be hearing anything more from Mr. Nony Moose.
I guess I'll just have to do without that Gucci purse.