Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Canadian Citizenship Test.

This is one of those thoughts that plop into my brain more or less out of the blue.  Think of that plopping sound in your toilet bowl.
OK never mind, that might not be the best analogy*. 
We did manage to get to the Doctor’s office with about 10 minutes to spare yesterday afternoon,  in spite of leaving an hour ahead of time.  My crazy planning was vindicated,  since the traffic was just as horrid as I had imagined.  There was one point there when the radio announcer might very well have said that the entire city wasn’t moving,  since there were so many streets,  “tangents” and “curves”  being mentioned,  that there was really very little else left.

The trick is of course to actually know the geography well enough to know what the heck they’re talking about?  I almost have it.  Mostly since the trouble spots tend to be repeated from day to day,  so you’re bound to figure it out eventually.
Anyway,  later as we were tooling down Goldegggaße on our way home,  there was a huge wall of black cloud that looked like it was about to crush the city.  It did a pretty good job too,  but waited until that very moment when I had to go out and put burgers on the BBQ.
This is when the idea of the Citizenship Test popped into my head.  The Austrians,  as well as most Europeans, think about using the BBQ as a seasonal kind of thing.  I’d dare say that Canadians,  as well as most anyone in North America thinks of the BBQ as simply another means of getting something cooked.  Personally I BBQ all year around. 
So here’s the test.  You must be able to hold an umbrella in a driving blowing rain,  all the while being able to flip burgers WITHOUT letting any rain fall on either your person or the food in question.  Can’t do it?  Oh, so sorry. It’s back to Sri Lanka for you.   Off you go!
The possibility of taking pictures during this event were pretty damned slim I might add.  Travelling Companion had the fleeting thought to try to snap one,  but it wouldn’t have worked anyway,  since it was so dark and foreboding out that a flash would have been needed,  and there was no way in hell to open up the doors to avoid the flash bouncing off the glass.  So there you go.
Now,  speaking of the Citizenship Test.  Yes, we do have one.  You’re welcome to take a stab at it.  I did manage to find something after sorting through all the stupid pop-up infested websites that want to “help” you for a small consideration.  The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation had a nice page.  This is only one version of the test,  since there are several variations.
So I took the test.  I figured why not?  No need to prepare. I went to school there.  I’m Canadian,  right? 
Well,  I get to keep my citizenship,  but a couple of those questions had me stumped.  On the one out of 20,  I passed with 14.  12 was a pass.  In typical fashion,  there were a couple of them where I had picked the right answer,  but then changed it.  They say you’re not supposed to do that.  Idiot.
Turns out the Hudson’s Bay Company had been active for the 300 years that I thought it was,  and why I changed it back to 250 is beyond me.  There were a couple there that I had no clue about,  like what three things do we still mine in the Territories?  Do I care?  Does anyone?
So this is the kind of crap you need to know to be a citizen?  I think I like my umbrella at the BBQ in the driving rain test better.  Try preparing for that one!  Oh,  and you don’t BBQ?  That’s like saying you don’t know what hockey is. Don’t even bother applying.  Just get back on the boat right now!
In other “news”,  when we were in the car yesterday (sitting in traffic of course)  we got a call  from Daughter Number One,  who had just left the lawyer’s office after signing all the paperwork for her new house.   She and her significant other get their keys today!  June 9th.    She said they had stopped by the place with the real estate agent earlier for one last go through,  and the previous owner had left the place is absolutely immaculate condition,  so there will be virtually no cleaning for them to do. 
It’s a whole other story,  and I didn’t say anything on the phone,  but that’s a far cry from the situation we had when we moved into our “first house”,  since there’s still a few things left over from the previous owner.  Just one of those things.  I try not to let it eat away at my soul. 

Remember,  wash those veggies.

*on edit,  and in keeping with the “shit” theme,  it’s probably a pretty good analogy.


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Well, I've been getting too many spam comments showing up. Just a drag, so we'll go another route and hope that helps. So, we won't be hearing anything more from Mr. Nony Moose.
I guess I'll just have to do without that Gucci purse.