Thursday, October 31, 2013

Shoes of Unobtainium.

I love that word.  Have to give a shout out to Gunnar for planting it in my brain.

Of course,  any time we talk about “Unobtainium”,  it will refer to anything having to do with the Merc.

She got her new winter shoes.



Those are winter tires,  you say?

Well yes.  Apparently,  when you have a Merc,  it involves a certain amount of style?  Or something?  I got nothing else.  They’re Pirellis on alloy rims.  

OK then.

I didn’t look at the speed rating,  buy my guess is there’s no place in North America where we would be able to legally get close to exceeding it. 

Admittedly,  they are pretty snazzy,  with the Mercedes logo there and all,  but I probably would have slapped some basic black steel rims on there,  and called it a day.   But hey, it’s not just “about me”.  Besides, we’ll amortise that cost over a decade or so (right?) and it won’t seem so extravagant.

You know when you go into one of those custom shops and see those fancy rims up there on the wall and you say to yourself, “Wow, what Bozo would spend that kind of money?”

Well,  hello.

Actually,  I’m thinking back to putting six new tires on a Class A motorhome for right around the same price point,  but not let’s get maudlin.


Going to the Mercedes Dealership (or “Stealership” as I’ve heard it referred to)  can be a daunting affair.   Naturally,  my first thoughts are along the lines of, “Oh man, I be payin’ for all this.”  

But you know, I am somewhat pragmatic that way?

You pull up to the big door,  it opens like it’s straight out of some Road Runner cartoon (by that I mean,  really quickly) and no sooner have you backed in next to all the other Mercs,  but there’s a “Concierge” type of Dude there with some sort of Ipad type of device,  who already has your information up on his screen. 

They don’t quite carry you to your “Service Advisor”.  (*snort* you kidding me?)  but they do make sure you don’t have to stand around too long and not get waited on.  

Let’s just say,  there were a lot of men in dark suits,  and many many young ladies who were all stylishly dressed and well coiffed.  Nary an ugly one in the bunch.  And I’m even included the men here.

Naturally, I was more interested in going to the toilet,  which were very clean and also very stylish.   Better than in most restaurants I’ve been in lately.  

But again,  “you be payin’ for all dat.”

Seeing as I had just come from a restaurant,  where I had inhaled a couple cups of coffee,  going for a pee was somewhat uppermost on my little list of “what to do next”.    Just thought I’d point that out.

One of these days I’ll do a little map for you, of all the places in town where there’s a washroom handy.  It’s just one of those things that you have to *know* if, in my case,  you’re away from home for more than a half hour.    But that’ll be for another day.   If I remember.


So anyway,  it turns out that it’s an “all day affair” to go to the “Stealership”,  since my “Service Advisor”  (man,  I get a kick out of that!)  was trying to tell me that the car wouldn’t be ready until four!  I wanted to say,  “Are you f**king kidding me?”  but of course,  one doesn’t use such language in such a stylish environment,  now does one?

I think they’re counting on that.


I did however point out that I can change a set of tires in my driveway in about,  oh I don’t know,  twenty minutes?   Same as an oil change.  (Had that done too) 

So they were going to “try” for three.   Oh,  I forgot to mention,  my appointment was for 10:40,  and I was there early.



Now,  they must have done an alignment too,  since the thing no longer pulls ever so slightly to the right anymore.  I’m OK with that.

All part of paying for the Unobtainium I suppose. 


Let’s move on,  shall we?


It’s Halloween!

And you know what?   I couldn’t care less.

“Getting ready for Halloween” isn’t really part of my lexicon I’m afraid.  It’s just never anything that I ever got “into”.  

I mean,  yes we used to play along when the kids were young,  and even after they were old enough to “know better”.   But I would just as soon be “that house”,  that sits there with no lights on….

Shouting out, “Go away!”


It might have something to do with spending all my “Halloween years” on a farm,  where Trick or Treating involved a lot of walking.  And being cold and miserable.

Ever walked from farm house to farm house?  In the cold?  Dressed as a pirate?   Or worse yet,  with a sheet over your head?   Try it sometime,  and get back to me.

One year,  I do recall *somebody* must have felt bad for me,  since I got transported down to Greenwood,  where I was able to go from door to door in the PMQs.   That’s “Personnel Married Quarters”,  but I’ve also heard it referred to as “Private Military Quarters”.


Anyway,  that was awesome,  since the doors were only steps apart.  Had my pillow case half full in no time! 


So I worked away this morning and put up all our Halloween decorations.




Were you not paying attention?  I think there’s a plastic pumpkin in the tote that I’ll shove out there too.  I just have to have a bowl of cr*p, er,  candy at the ready,  and we’re good to go!

I think it’ll be mostly “Twizzlers”.   I don’t like those.  Might need to “hold back” some of the candy bars.

Judging by today’s weather though,  I doubt very much that we’ll get that many kids.  We have more SUVs in our neighbourhood these days than kids.  Sad but true.


Oh,  I should give a half hearted mention to Rick, way out there in the “Banana Belt”,  along with "Low and Slow",  who has a blog called “Flight Plan”.  For the life of me,  I can’t find the guy’s actual name,  but maybe he likes it that way.

Anyhoodle,  yes it’s a “featherboard”.  (that thing from two days ago?)

I suppose they’re all “jigs” of some description,  and it must have been a Freudian Slip when I referred to it as a “do jiggy”.  

That’s my excuse anyway.

No prize.  Just a mention.  Isn’t that what I said?


How can you give something to a man who has everything?

There we go.

I think it’ll be an “inside day”,  judging by the torrential downpour we’re experiencing at the moment.


Try to keep it between the ditches.


Thanks for stopping by.


Oh and,  Happy Halloween!    Gah.


  1. What? No washroom in the Merc? I thought you bought a loaded model? :cP

  2. And you know, I saw a few *items* in their show room and thought, "Wow, at that price it had better come with its own washroom and a bed in the back."

  3. A few RV dealerships are the same way. Good enough reason for me NOT to go buying there as I know I have to pay for "all this".

  4. We like to stay away from dealerships if at all possible, can usually get better and much more reasonable service else where. Quicker too. Got a lube, oil, filter and brake job on our coach in 5 hours at a very reasonable price this summer, local garage.

  5. A 'half-hearted' thank you back for the shout-out on the featherboard. I take it that was the prize??

    Get off my lawn!! What an old grouch! C'mon, man.......

  6. Unobt...wha??? Oh hell Happy Halloween is easier to understand!
    Now, stop hiding that snickers bar!

  7. A man after my own heart.....knowing where the best restrooms are is essential.

  8. A good read, friend. I'll be back again. Oh, I'm Scott... nice meeting you. :)


  9. Clearly some perks for hitting the high end establishments:) I have not heard about winter tires in a long time.

  10. Next October 31 you best put on your scariest costume and a smile on your face and enjoy the merrymaking. You're too young to be a curmudgeon haha!! As for the bathrooms...yup, we know where all the McDonald's are located, and which establishments have easily accessible facilities located close to the door. These are important things to know!


Well, I've been getting too many spam comments showing up. Just a drag, so we'll go another route and hope that helps. So, we won't be hearing anything more from Mr. Nony Moose.
I guess I'll just have to do without that Gucci purse.