Friday, June 7, 2013

Going the way of the Dodo.


Before I go any farther,  I have to say that I was reminded that we did in fact get some mail on Monday.

So I’m only partly full of sh*t.  Most of the rest is true.




So I had a little chat with ‘Heather’ from Canada Post yesterday.  (you think that’s her real name?)

You know when you call up a service,  and after pushing the appropriate number of ones and twos to get to whatever menu you *think* you need to be at,  you get that little message that says,  “For quality purposes,  your call may be recorded”?  

I just thought to myself.  “Oh good.”   I had worked up a bit of a head of steam at that point.   I think it was from wading through all those ones and twos. 


First of all,  there’s a cheque that was sent out to us from a location in Hamilton,  some time a couple weeks ago.  It could have come by mule train and got here by now.  The thing was though,  I started to realise by about Wednesday,  that we had not received ONE STITCH of mail up to that point.   Not even junk mail.

*except for Monday of course.  D’oh!


And we ALL know,  there’s no stopping the junk mail.

When I checked the box on Thursday and it was still empty,  I figured something had to be not quite right.

Here’s what else I noticed.  Our regular postal Dude isn’t here.  Instead,  the mail has been carted around by a replacement.  How do I know this?  Well,  when I hear someone talking on their phone in my driveway,  go around the corner and see some postal chick trucking it down the street,  still talking on her phone,  that’s when I notice.

The thing was,  I’m sure she had just come up the driveway.  Yet, the mailbox was empty. 

What?  Change of heart?  Confused?


Did she maybe not like the look of the mailbox?   I mean, it’s the same mailbox we’ve had for nearly twenty years.  I made it to replace the metal one that was showing its age not long after we moved here.  (In 1992!)

It’s been getting mail put in it off and on for the duration.


In keeping with the look of the house,  it too is made of cedar. I probably should think about sprucing it up one of these days.   I’ll put it on the list.



Now,  I say “off and on”,  because it has been known to happen, that a certain house down the street has received our mail,  simply due to some dyslexia (or maybe just illiteracy?) when the mail gets sorted.   A certain Mr. Helm would stop by from time to time to drop off our mail,  and we’d usually have a couple items of his that we’d exchange.   If it looked really important,  we’d make the trip to his place.  

I don’t at the moment remember his house number,  but it was *close* to ours,  if you were dyslexic, or just stupid. 

But wait. It turns out it wasn’t dyslexia,  now that I just did a google maps searcheroo... 

Yup,  that’s the place.  (click that link above?)  I notice how it says on Google Maps,  “Address is approximate”.   Um ya.  See,  that doesn’t work for mail delivery?

And that’s the thing.   Even IF you don’t know the area,  don’t know the house numbers,  all you have to do is whip out your “smart phone”,  and GOOGLE will tell you where to deliver the mail!   I mean, you don’t even need to be able to *think*.   Although, maybe thinking was never part of the program.


The other slight wrinkle too is,  poor Mr. Helm (yes,  that’s a real person) is getting on in years,  and it was really becoming quite onerous for him to deliver our mail.


Anyway,  I was nice as pie with Heather.  Not her fault really.  She’s just some poor sap straddled with listening to some irascible old bastard. l was trying to be polite,  (really) all the while telling her just how lousy their “service” is.

I did make sure to point out just how the mail service has been going over the last twenty years and how,  in spite of the fact that their very existence is indeed going the way of the Dodo bird,  it would be prudent to not hasten that demise.  They’ll probably have to start doing what the postal systems in Europe have sunk to,  and that is marketing cell phones and plans,  along with banking and other such services.  Lord knows nobody wants to rely on their ability to actually deliver the mail.  I could tell stories about that lot too. Dough heads.



Anyhoodle,  we did manage to get some junk mail today.  So that’s a step.  Not sure if it’s in the right direction.  Still looking for that cheque.  Oy.


Sad to say,  that’s all I got.

Keep it between the ditches.  Nice weekend.  All that.


Thanks for stopping in.


  1. So the Canadian Postal Service has copied the U.S. Postal Service? Or is it the other way around?

    Either way, I'll keep my eyes peeled for your mail. Hey, you never know...

  2. So the big black hole of lost mail has struck again and in Canada of all places. Hope you get that check soon.

  3. Ouch, don't get me started on the mail service....disappearing parcels and all that.

  4. Hey I got a piece of mail that is a one day drive from here, 14 days later!

  5. Did not know they still do home delivery.
    We have had no home delivery for over 30 years, small town post office box and local subdivisions neighbourhood mail boxes on the corners.

  6. Oh Bob. Did you tell "Heather" about how, in your day, carriers delivered the mail barefoot, uphill both ways?

    Still, I'm sure you were very polite, as you Canadians are. Is that an offensive stereotype? Uh, some of my best friends are Canadian! Ha! Ha!

  7. Does the Canadian Post use horseback mounted carriers? ;-)


Well, I've been getting too many spam comments showing up. Just a drag, so we'll go another route and hope that helps. So, we won't be hearing anything more from Mr. Nony Moose.
I guess I'll just have to do without that Gucci purse.