Sunday, January 15, 2012

Fun with Spam

OK so,  I know I said I’d mention something about this yesterday,  but some days I just don’t “feel like it”,  in the blogging department. 

I skipped a day.  So shoot me.

Travelling Companion and I actually went out yesterday in search of an elusive pair of shoes she had seen a couple weeks back,  and she did manage to find the same ones,  but not in her size.  We figured that was the reason they were on sale,  since the only shoes they had on offer were for ladies with exceedingly small feet.  We’re talking size five here.  My sister takes a size five or six,  and usually has a heck of a time finding shoes.  Apparently she needs to go shoe shopping in Vienna?

Since we didn’t have any success in the shoe department,  the idea of meandering around on the streets yesterday wasn’t overly appealing,  since it was cold and blustery.  And that’s all I’ll say about that. 

I haven’t had cause to go out yet today,  and I’m not sure if I’ll even come up with a reason.  It’s sunny, with the temperature hovering around a balmy zero.  Doesn’t matter what system you use,  0°Celsius is the temperature at which water freezes.  That’s all you need to know.

So in that instance,  “sunny out” isn’t enough of a reason to go anywhere except possibly,  and only possibly,  out on the terrace.   We’ll see. 

As a further diversionary tactic,  I submit for your perusal the following:



First of all,  if you have the ability to actually read the words on this page,  you’re quite likely familiar with the sight of this object.   I realise not everyone drinks wine of course,  but this is still a fairly common tool.  Take a good look.  Do you see anything wrong?

Being at a certain point in one’s life,  I can safely say that,  breaking a corkscrew is no longer a big deal.  We probably have a dozen or so scattered between two residences.   Some are simple.  Some not so simple.   Some are so confusingly complicated that they’ve remained in their lovely little gift boxes to this day.

Just as an example of how these things multiply, I should mention that,  after we had signed the lease for the house we rented in the Netherlands and I then flew over to join Travelling Companion in August of 2008,   not only did I make sure to bring a cork screw with me,  but she had made sure she bought one to have on hand as well.   See how this works?  Opening up a kitchen drawer without being able to find a corkscrew is no more a possibility than going out of the house without wearing proper undergarments.   Either of these things might possibly have happened some 30 or 35 years ago,  but not these days.   And actually,  that’s not even a proper simile,  since I’ve never been able to go “commando”.   Some little kids have “security blankets”.  I feel a certain comfort in a pair of snug fitting Stanfields,  and being able to yank a functioning corkscrew out of the kitchen drawer without hardly looking.   It’s all a matter or priorities,  and I find these two things to be of equal importance.




Now onto this whole “spam” thing.  

First of all,  there was a comment about luncheon meat.  You know,  I had completely forgot about luncheon meat!  We’ve become so used to spam referring to annoying cr*p on the internet that the meaning of the term has taken on a major shift.

As a result of that comment though, I thought back to a particular dish that we used to have years ago when the kids were small.  Coincidently, so was our bank balance.   I seem to recall that it was a product called “Klik”,  which was a type of luncheon meat available in Canada.   Turns out (with a little help from Google) that it’s still available. 


So here’s the way it worked.    Start by boiling up a pot of macaroni,  and when that’s just about done,  sauté a finely chopped onion (or maybe it was a half,  I don’t recall)  and when the onion has started to brown,  add your by then diced luncheon meat.  You may need to fend off anyone hovering around and helping themselves to the pieces of luncheon meat however.  I’ve been known to add a little garlic salt at this point as well, along with any other seasonings that might strike one’s fancy.  Remove your macaroni from the water and add it to the sautéed mixture.   Stir it up a little to mix all the flavours and serve immediately.    The only condiment needed is copious amounts of Heinz ketchup.   The kids lapped it up.  AND it was a cheap meal.   We didn’t tell them that part though,  nor would they have cared.   We haven’t had it in years,  since we possibly got tired of it along the way at some point.  Fried luncheon meat and macaroni once a week for a few years is going to start to lose it’s charm at some point. 





There must be something wrong in my head,  since every so often I see something that otherwise would be annoying,  but instead makes me giggle.   I forget that blogger will separate any comments that have a “Spam like”  air about them,  but once in a while I’ll take a look,  and there will be a half dozen or so messages that have been corralled for my perusal.

Along with a very small amount of “comment spam”  I do get about three messages a week in the more run of the mill ‘appendage enhancement’ category.

I’m putting in these few pre-emptive words,  since I need you to realise that I’ve copied this subject line just exactly as it appeared in my junk mail folder,  AND I had to make sure not to subconsciously correct the poor grammar…and spelling….and syntax.  Gah!  Never mind. 


So here we go:

“Viiagra offers! Take a glance of Viiagra abatement!”


Whoa!  Is that even English??

OK,  presumably you can get an “abatement” on your rent,  but I’d still be more inclined to just use “reduction”,  or maybe “discount”?    I actually had to look up “abatement”,  since it made absolutely no sense in the message. 

I could go on and on but really,  aren’t they trying to actually sell something?  I just don’t get it.


And it continues….

And I quote,

“Go and buuy Vigar@ at grand cut rates.”


(And this was in blogger….)

“hey blogger found your website via search engine but it was hard to find and I see you could have more visitors because there are not so many comments yet. I have discovered website which offer to dramtically increase traffic to your website (I took out the link) they claim they managed to get close to 1000 visitors/day using their services you could also get lot more targeted traffic from search engines as you have now. I used their services and got significantly more visitors to my blog. Hope this helps :) They offer url service online seo backlinks backlink booster Take care. Jay


Best Legal Steroid. Order Legal Steroids is a pioneer in the Bodybuilding Supplement Industry. Our field is in the advancement, study, and production of muscular site enhancements, anabolic steroid supplements, and body building supplements. We have a variety of products to enhance your physique. It is usually recommended to order stacks, a combination of supplements. One stack might consist of dianabol, anadroll, and deccabolan.”


OK,  at least that last one was something that I could read without wanting to punch something, or getting a big headache.

I hear that the amount of THC in today’s marijuana is the highest it’s ever been,  which might explain some of this silliness.

What’s the point?  Really?  I’d like to meet up with the guy who actually decides to get an “abatement” on his,  what was it again?  “Vigar@”?  (I think the goofy spelling is a lame attempt at getting around the filter.  T didn’t work.)


I’m lost here.  Just give me a moment.


Wait!  I think I’ve figured it out.   Here’s what they’re talking about!



There we go.  It all makes perfect sense now. 


I *promise* I’ll never bring it up again.   Promise.   I’ll just quietly delete this cr*p and never speak of it again.


Enjoy the rest of your weekend,  and thanks for indulging my silly little meanderings.





  1. You skipped a day - horrors. I sometimes skip a week and don't even realize it. And it's way too cold over there. I've never had Spam (the food kind). When we had macaroni it had cheese in it and maybe some left over ham. So I had peanut butter and jelly because I don't eat cheese. Stay warm.

  2. Skipping a day in blog-land can be very creative. Think about it. I skipped one too - the same as you.


Well, I've been getting too many spam comments showing up. Just a drag, so we'll go another route and hope that helps. So, we won't be hearing anything more from Mr. Nony Moose.
I guess I'll just have to do without that Gucci purse.