Saturday, July 2, 2011

For your amusement.

One of the things I like to do on a Saturday, when I’m out to pick up a few things in the fore noon, is buy one of the big fat newspapers like Kurier,  and wade through it off and on over the course of the weekend.  I’d be doing something similar back home with a paper such as The Globe and Mail,  although I have to say,  I’m not impressed with the online version of either.  I sure hope the paper version of The Globe and Mail hasn’t deteriorated to what their online offering is.  That would be unfortunate.

Anyway,  I barely got past the first section when I couldn’t help but share a couple timely items.   Besides,  there’s not too danged much else going on.

The first has to do with the beginnings of the “Holiday Season” here in Austria.  For those who may not be quite up to speed on this subject,  the Europeans take their vacation quite seriously.  I don’t know if there’s a direct cause and effect between their state of mental health and the amount of time they take off,  but they do seem to be able to all get along for the most part. 
There is that whole “European Union” thing happening after all.
I mean,  think about it, who would have ever thought that was ever possible??  I think though that that might be a topic for another day.


Here’s our first tongue in cheek example:


And now,  for you English speaking types, a rough translation/interpretation:

“Nice Traffic Jam!
Today is unofficially Traffic Jam Day.  The first Saturday of the holiday season is the day when,  year after year,  all fans of traffic jams get a taste of what the season has in store for them.
The noteworthy thing about a traffic jam is,  everyone says,  “I’m standing in traffic”.  This isn’t the case at all,  since really you’re “sitting”.   Plus,  you’re not “in” the traffic jam,  you “are” the traffic jam.
(It’s interesting to note as well: people will often associate their own person with their car,  instead of saying,  “The car is parked two streets over”,  they’ll say, “I’m parked two streets over”.)
The traffic jam, which is typically caused by someone doing something stupid,  is an example of Democracy in the purest sense.
Whether you’re an executive or labourer,  you all get the same treatment, whether at the wheel of your Porsche Cayenne or Opel Corsa.
You have to look on it in a positive light.  Experienced participants are of the opinion that you may as well entertain yourself on the way and simply start your vacation a little later*. 
Besides,  at least you’re stopped  and not going backwards,  although that is also a possibility.”

*this part gave me some grief.  If anyone has a better translation,  be my guest.

And now,  and this is quite timely,  especially in light of the Canadian Football (read: soccer) team getting severely trounced by the French the other day…
…here is our second bit of levity:

Here we go;  First frame,  everyone has on the same “dress”.
(The first chick is saying, “Oh God,  she’s wearing the same as me..!”)
Number two:  The kids that go onto the field with you are NOT going to be playing too.
Number three: There’s no jury giving points,  nor does style count.
Number four: Our ladies football team is NOT better than the men.
(hey,  don’t shoot the messenger)
Number five: THAT is not soccer.
Number six: It doesn’t help if you’re a good cook.
(Again,  don’t shoot the messenger)

I’m thinking that “Pammesberger”,  the editorial cartoonist in this case,  is a guy? 

And there you go,  a brief and slightly disturbing glimpse into the Austrian psyche. 

I hope for all my Canuck friends out there that they had a fine Canada Day,  and for those south of the 49th,  Happy Independence Day!
Isn’t it great when they fall on a Friday and a Monday like that?  
Won’t happen again until 2016.   Let’s hope we’re all still around for that one.


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