Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My second biggest fear.

You may certainly recall that I mentioned (only yesterday)  that one of my biggest fears was that of locking myself out.
 No,  I haven't locked myself out.
My arms are pretty long,  but reaching this computer from out in the hallway would be a stretch.
 OK,  that was a really poor choice of words.

 You'd think that something like flying would be a fear,  but it's not.   Reports are that I do start to get a little crusty when we travel by air,  but that doesn't so much have to do with the notion of a heavier than air metal tube somehow becoming airborne.   No, it's the B.S. one has to go through to get on the metal tube that starts to fray my fuse just ever so slightly.

For example, we could go up in a Cessna 152 say,

and provided the thing is stressed for inverted flight,  any number of acrobatic shenanigans would not faze me in the slightest.

I did discover a few years back however, that I do have some motion sickness issues,  so chances are pretty high that if I don't medicate,  I will blow chunks in and around the cockpit.

Sick yes.

Afraid no.

No, I'm talking more along the lines here of making an assumption of what I fear,  based on some overwhelming evidence that has recently come to light.
 See,  when we first moved to the Netherlands from Canada way,  way back in 08,   (Gawd,  are we coming up on three years???)
it never occurred to me that I would have some difficulty finding certain important items necessary for my own personal hygiene.  We're not even going to talk about the monumental task of having to go out and find these sorts of things for Travelling Companion.

That would be a whole other diatribe.

I discovered early on,  that I couldn't find the underarm deodorant that I've become quite accustomed to over the years.
 Nothing even close!
We did find Miracle Whip in Denmark,  but I'll be damned if I could find proper deodorant anywhere in Europe.
This may explain why there have been reports back from certain office environments that some of the men are shall we say?  emitting a certain fragrance?  Eau de Gym locker,  perhaps?

 Where was I?

So before we turned right around and went back home again to buy deodorant,  (we had to go home for a wedding)  I had to settle for this stuff you see below....


Does that in any way look right to you?   Does that look like something a man should use??
 The problem with moving to a new country where you're not quite up to speed language wise,  is summed up in that photo.
 Turns out this stuff was antiperspirant.   Well,  for a long time now I haven't been able to use antiperspirant,  since they put some sort of crap in there that makes me itch.
  So,  smelly or itchy?  What's it gonna be?
 I don't even know why I still have it,  but it probably has to do with keeping something which has some remote chance of one day being serviceable.   This can be a weakness.
In addition to it being wrong for me chemically,  this stuff was some sort of slimy white goop that gets rolled on.   Gah!
 Far be it from me to examine too many men's armpits,  but speaking for myself,  there's a certain amount of hair there.

 I'll just let you think about that for a minute.

 So let's cut to the chase,  shall we?

 Here's what's been happening.   Just about every time that we go home,  and I've pretty well lost count actually,  I stock up on deodorant.  The kind I like.

It was even on my Christmas list.
I know.  The kids were not impressed.   But I was happy.

 So judging by the amount of sticks that I have accumulated,  I have to conclude that running out of deodorant must be my second biggest fear*.

That's no trick photography there folks.   Pretty sure I have another three or four sticks back home too.
That little guy down there on the right could very well be antiperspirant.   How'd that get in there?

Meh, I'm not worried.

So,  if I go through one stick about every three months?   Yikes...I sure hope we've moved back home before then.

*There was that one time when I looked under my vehicle to find out what that noise was,  and came nose to butt with a skunk.  I backed away slowly. 
Now THAT was fear!


No comments:

Post a Comment

Well, I've been getting too many spam comments showing up. Just a drag, so we'll go another route and hope that helps. So, we won't be hearing anything more from Mr. Nony Moose.
I guess I'll just have to do without that Gucci purse.