Friday, September 21, 2012

I couldn’t “Do the News”.

Because I’d start to laugh.  I’m sorry.  There’s some sh*t out there that almost makes me poop my pants.

Have you seen this one?

 

Leader of Amish breakaway group guilty of hate crime in hair attacks

“Heretics”?   Oh wait no,  “hair attacks”.  OK,  I’m good so far.  But then I start reading.

You can click on the link if you choose, and TRY and read the rest of the article.   I couldn’t seem to do it,  as I was having some difficulty with my concentration.  And well,  the tears from laughter in my eyes.  It would otherwise be a rather sad tale of hatred,  or persecution or something,  except for one small problem.

See,  the “perp”, if I were to be so bold as to use some “cop jargon”,  is one Samuel Mullet.

Heeheee!  I just laughed again!   Oh Lordy.

 

Yes kids.  This guy named Mullet,  (say it aloud a few times for effect  Mullet Mullet Mullet Mullet…) was convicted of cutting off somebody’s hair. And beards.  Well,  I don’t think the women had beards.  Maybe a bit of stubble? Well, it was he and his followers.  Whatever.  Who cares about the details?   I couldn’t get past “Mullet”!

This is too good to make up, even for my imagination.  Believe me, it’s out there on the net.  Not that I totally believe everything on the net,  but again, it doesn’t matter! 

Thou needst not believeth.  Oops, don’t read that aloud,  unless you’re really dry of mouth.

 

 

 

So just now I did a little looking around,  trolling for images, you know,  in case you were born yesterday and don’t know how the Amish dress or something,  and I found this:

 

smoking amish dude

Hold on a sec!  Is that dude smoking?   I didn’t think they smoked?  Geez,  I don’t smoke,  and I’m nowhere close to being Amish.   Trust me.  And really, even if they start drinking beer, I still ain’t joinin’ up.   Just so you know.

I had a beard once upon a time.  It gets itchy in the summer.  I used to use “Resdan”.  It helped.  No more beards for me,  thanks.

 

So now apparently,  if you do a Google search for “mullet”, (Mullet Mullet Mullet Mullet)   you might get a story about some Amish “perps” who went around cutting people’s hair off,  or….you could end up with something like this:

only david spade

*shudder*

 

or worse,  this:

 

dogthewhatever

Gah!

Whatever you come up with, I’d wager that your first thought would be,  “What were you thinking?”  

That’s my best guess.

 

 

*ahem*

 

Moving on.

IMG_0458

This sign caught my attention this morning.  There’s something about that last line that doesn’t sit well.  I do so wish the Austrians would either stick with German,  or hire some actual English speaking people to check over their stuff.  I’m no marketing guru,  so I’m not exactly tooled up to know what to put there at the bottom to entice people to come into the store,  but somehow “successful”  and “shopping”  don’t seem to work together.    I didn’t go in,  so I guess my shopping was “successful”?

Even then, if I can get the hell out of a store without buying anything more than what I intended on getting,  that’s my version of “successful shopping”.  I’d also like to think of it as “commando”,  but that can be confused with something else entirely.   We’ll just say,  I try to be a very “task oriented” shopper, all the while keeping my clothes on.  

So maybe they could have said, “Please come in and browse”?   I think that would work.  Where do I sign up?

 

By now you’ve no doubt figured out,  after slogging through the previous (what is it now?) 588 words (don’t you love Blogger?)  that there’s not really too danged much going on today.

It’s a fairly normal Friday.  Of course,  we’re expecting more guests to arrive on Tuesday morning,  so I’ll be swabbing the decks,  painting the hull and polishing the bright work between now and then.  And it goes without saying that I strip our bed on a Friday and get that sorted out.   And that’s about it.

Hopefully the weather holds out for our guests,  as the fall can be a little iffy here in Wienerland.   We’ve had a bit of rain over the last few days and now it’s cleared up.  It’s not like they’re having to hang out in a hotel for the whole time,  as we have plenty of extra warm clothes to loan out if need be,  not to mention about a dozen umbrellas.  Don’t ask.  I swear they breed somehow.

 

Travelling Companion is still in the midst of “Profit Plan”,  so I have no clue how late she’ll be again tonight.  She arrived without any sort of parking garage issues last night,  so the magic box must have been fixed. 

 

Enjoy your weekend,  wherever you may find yourself.

Keep it between the ditches.

 

Thanks for stopping ‘round.

 

.

11 comments:

  1. Was there a pic of Mullet ? Did he have one? or is
    the same as when the 6 ft 8 guy is named Tiny
    Donna

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He doesn't have a "mullet", that's just his name. There is a pic of Mullet on CNN

      I suppose if his name was Cobbler and he was stealing shoes it might have been as amusing, and if he had been named "Smith", I'm sure I would have passed it over.

      Delete
    2. An updated list of familiar people and their nemesses:

      Superman = Kryptonite
      Wile E.Coyote = Dynamite
      Gorilla's = Samsonite
      Han Solo = Carbonite
      Clint Eastwood = Masonite (gotta be sharp to get this one)
      And now....
      ZZ Top = Mennonite's

      Delete
    3. I thought you would have said, "Harrison Ford = Masonite", or even "Arborite"
      Personally, I've had a couple issues with "Aspenite", but nothing serious.

      Delete
  2. The first story takes place right here in Ohio. We have a huge Amish population near us, and this is the talk of the century.

    ReplyDelete
  3. the only definition of 'mullet'?..business in the front and party in the back..had to be the worst hair cut ever!....great read as always Bob!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was reading about the Amish issue yesterday and couldn't believe it. Mullets are just plain stupid looking.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Interesting things that you can come across on the internet, always some entertaning reading to be found. Thank for the chuckles.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great way to start my day.......needed to get laughing to get going.

    Gracias.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You just can't make this stuff up. Too funny!!!

    Did you know the Amish have their own kind of GPS to find their way home in their buggies? They just follow the horse poop on the side of the roads.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sure that's not a lot of "bull"? Har!

      Delete

Well, I've been getting too many spam comments showing up. Just a drag, so we'll go another route and hope that helps. So, we won't be hearing anything more from Mr. Nony Moose.
I guess I'll just have to do without that Gucci purse.