Wednesday, November 21, 2012

When snoring is a capital offence.

Anyone over a certain age,  or at least old enough to own up to any number of foibles,  will readily admit to snoring.  It happens.  Either once in a while,  or maybe ad nauseam.


You might think you DON’T snore for any of the following reasons: 1) You sleep alone.  2) You have a sleeping partner who sleeps very,  very soundly.  3) You’re  delusional.   And if none of the above,  then you’re quite likely a bold faced liar.

Those are your choices.  You snore.  Trust me.

And,  as an aside,  when we had our visitors back in the springtime consisting of a band that was on tour,  I was a little surprised to see that two of the group had taken separate bedrooms on their own.  I mean,  I had figured out all the sleeping arrangements,  so I was a little amused to see four of the group out sleeping on the floor in the living room.   So that meant that,  one whole bed was left untouched.  *Crazy*,  I thought.

Well,  come to find out, not that crazy.  This group had been together long enough to know that,  two of the gentlemen snored so loudly that the rest of the group was willing to sleep on the floor rather than be driven to the brink of insanity.  Even with two closed doors separating our bedroom from the one fellow,  I was still aware of a low,  disturbing rumble. 

You know,  when you wake up in the morning and think,  “Wow,  what the heck is that noise?”  

Kind of like that.


So here’s the thing.   Last year some time,  there was some news in the local rag about a chick that was tracked down and nabbed when a couple hacked up bodies were found in her ice cream parlour.   By the way,  try not to let the following affect your thinking the next time you go for ice-cream,  but hey,  a freezer is a freezer.  Who knows what else is in there besides “Rocky Road”?   


Anyhoodle,  life got a little “rocky” for a couple of her victims,  (like that one?) one of whom she shot when he rolled over in bed and began to snore. 

Holy crap on a cracker! 

*Mental Note*.   Be sure and keep any loaded ordinance away from ones sleeping partner.  AND,  you know what they say about “never going to bed angry”?   There’s that one too.   Just a couple little life principles to think on.


For an abridged English version, you’re welcome to do a Google search for “Vienna Ice Lady”,  or click on this handy dandy link that I’ve included here.


For those few of you who just might wish to read some of the original German,  I’ve enclosed a couple photo shots of the local rag. 



The above was from yesterday,  the one below is today’s missive. 



I don’t even really follow these “crime of the century” kind of things,  but since I have a bit of time on my hands,  and am always willing to pick up a couple new German words,  I figured I would dive in.  Meh,  it passes the time.



The weather today in Wienerland is just about as grey as the Ice Lady’s dress,  which I see she wore two days in a row.  I suppose it’s a little more humane than having to shuffle into court in shackles and a bright orange jump suit.

Even if she were wearing Versace, I still think she’ll be going away for a long,  long time. 


That’s about it for the report from the front.  The rest of the news is pretty ho-hum.  You know,  putting up Christmas decorations,  digging up the odd bomb at a construction site.  Normal life in Vienna.  That kind of thing.


Yes,  I know they’re huge,  but those are Christmas decorations.   They look like that space ship that Superman came in from Krypton.




I’ve never bothered to keep track,  but it seems like an unexploded bomb is discovered every few months.  This is what happens when you “host” a war.




Thanks for stopping by kids.   If you wake up in the morning without a bullet hole in you,  it’s going to be a good day.


Be safe out there.




  1. Thanks for the tip on snoring, maybe a two bedroom motorhome is in our future!

  2. I, of course, do not snore. Just so you know. But Jim can certainly raise the roof so I punch him and get him to turn over which seems to work nicely. But better than a bullet, don't you think?

  3. Sleep deprevation can make you do 'crazy things'!
    "holy crap on a cracker"? Love that saying!!

  4. I was accused of snoring, especially when I used to have a job in a cubicle...

  5. I do not want to say who, for fear of reprisals, but someone I know very well snores heavily but fails to accept that fact:)

  6. Not one man but two guys take a bullet in the head... She's a real sicko... And then freezes their parts... after the hacking..... She's nuts, but they will get her off on the fact she is nuts....

  7. I hate to admit this but one of our weiners snores....easy to tell hubby to turn over but what about the dog!!


Well, I've been getting too many spam comments showing up. Just a drag, so we'll go another route and hope that helps. So, we won't be hearing anything more from Mr. Nony Moose.
I guess I'll just have to do without that Gucci purse.